I’m sitting here, trying to hold onto my really, really big thoughts so that I can type through them later. I have carpal tunnel in both wrists (big surprise, for the girl who types nearly every waking moment!), and the right one is killer… but sitting with the thoughts, as they weave themselves into pleasing phrases and sentences and paragraphs, is akin to torture. I can’t sit with them inside me; they must, they must come out.
My really big thoughts come from some really big hopes and dreams.
I want to serve, not because I have an excess of money or influence, but because I have hope to spare, enough to share some with others in need.
I want people to look at my life, my relentless positive attitude, and wonder what makes me different.
I want to have the guts to say the word–Jesus. I want the wisdom to know how to speak the truth without turning people away.
I want the courage to speak out on the really tough issues, ones about which I have a firm opinion but fear speaking out because my opinion won’t be popular with some very important people in my life.
I want my drive to seek the truth and the Truth to outweigh my fear of others’ opinions.
I want to be in a place, every moment, of loving this life but never so much that I’m not willing to leave it all behind in an instant, should He call me elsewhere.
I want to change people. Some people want to change things… politics, status quo, paths… not me. I want to change hearts.
I want to know I’ve made a difference.
But, I don’t want to inspire people with my story. I want you to know that I am not behind any of this, but He is.