Autistic communication

Lest you forget that there is one very autistic brain behind these words…

Posted to Autistic Speaks’s FB wall Saturday night…

“Mom missed out on how How To Compliment An Autistic Girl 101… she told me that the “wrong” jeans looked nice tonight. NO! THEY DO NOT LOOK NICE! They were, in fact, the number 2 jeans, and only the number 1 jeans look nice. The others are merely second place. And so, the rule is, when you compliment me, you must first be sure that I, also, agree with the compliment. Otherwise, you’ll just get yelled at for being WRONG!”

I’m not being serious!  It’s a joke, sarcasm, a play on the way autistic people think, a pull from the autistic lack of theory of mind (i.e., that my mom could have a different opinion of the pants than I did).


“Autistic Logic 201. You ask me to consider switching from my school-sized backpack to a small purse-sized one. I concede. A week later, you see me carrying the large one. You say, “Lydia! I asked you to carry a small backpack!” “I am!” I respond. I’m not lying. What gives?”

Again, making a joke out of a real-life incident.  One time, in a hurry, I threw the small backpack into the big one so that I didn’t have to dump and sort.  Then, later, when Mom asked me if I had the small one, I said, with a smile, of course I do!  It’s just me being a twerp and silly.  What, can’t autistic people be mischievous?  I certainly can, and I rather enjoy it.  So please, while I appreciate the help, I don’t need to be told what was expected or what have you… I’m aware.  I was being funny.

Also last night…

Someone posted a hypothesis, based solely on opinion, on a forum.  I refuted it with fact.  I assumed that the poster would want to base his or her theories in fact rather than whim.  And so, I directly but without rudeness listed a couple of facts as to why the theory was factually impossible.  I was trying to be helpful and build knowledge.  I was met with “sorry I said anything.”  Was I too direct?  Should I have cushioned and made the person feel good?  I don’t know.  I’m a funny one (a different sort of funny this time) in that I require both cushioning and directness.  Don’t ask me how it’s possible to do both; ask Leigh.  She does it perfectly.  Or ask Mom.  She knows how to do it.  It’s possible to correct me without inducing meltdown.  Anyway, I struggle with how to do this for other people.

And you know, it strikes me… as I said, please don’t forget that there is a very autistic mind behind these words.  I know I type well, even better than many typical people… but… my brain is still autistic.  So when I do things like communicate in an autistic style ( AKA, straightforwardly), please keep in your minds that I am, after all, autistic!  Sometimes I get a little frustrated, feeling like people seek my advice until I do something autistic, then they get upset with me.

Sometimes I forget that even in typing, which I do well, I am not immune to my communication breakdowns that follow me wherever I go.  Must remember this.

Back to listening to Christmas music and wrapping presents (you can totally tell they’re a Lydia job!).



One thought on “Autistic communication

  1. To answer your question: YES, autistic people can be mischievous. My ten year old daughter, a girl with profound autism, will put her fingers in her ears, run away, and hum so she can’t hear me telling her to get her butt back in the kitchen while she’s eating. She laughs and takes the apple I saw her grab when she thought I wasn’t looking back to the den where she can play on the computer, or down to the basement where she re-enacts Snow White every night (and therefore needs the apple, to tempt and then poison Snow White so that Prince Charming can kiss her awake). She knows perfectly well that she should not leave rotting apples all over the house. But she giggles and runs away with her fingers in her ears. And I feel proud of her for having the independent mind and will to defy me.

    Autism in my daughter makes me appreciate things I never thought I would.

    And speaking of things I appreciate — Your blog is AWESOME.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s