On judgment

This post won’t be terribly loquacious; I’m in the midst of another sleep attack.  I’ve been sleeping for almost all of the last 24 hours.  I don’t know what the cause of these attacks might be, but boy oh boy, are they annoying.

And, I’ll be darned, there you have it.  In my explanation, I’ve just done what I want to try to tell you not to do.  I’ve judged the sleeping by labeling it annoying.  Why not look at it as… something is affecting my body, causing it to need extra sleep?  Why not look at it as, thank goodness I don’t work-work (you know, as opposed to work, which I definitely do) so that I can do what my body needs?  No, instead of that, I’ve judged it.

How often do we pass judgment on things that we could just accept?

For me, the realization started with a time when I wasn’t testing my blood sugar.  It was so extremely out of control that I refused to even test it, because it was so very overwhelming and, in my mind, so bad.  And then, I realized… don’t judge the number.  Sure it might be near 500… and so it is.  And so that means my body needs insulin.  And so, take some, and it will come down, yeah?

Weight is a huge one for many people.  I stepped on the scale today and the number was not only four pounds higher than yesterday, but also the highest it’s ever been for me.  I could have crumpled and cried.  The only place that would get me would be a great many uncomfortable feelings of self-judgment… so instead of going there, I said, “Well, good thing I started on the Victoza yesterday” (Victoza not only reduces post-meal blood sugars but also delays gastric emptying, which mine is too fast, so this will lead me to feel full longer and thus far, eat about half my normal intake).  I wonder if I can get a walk in today?  I asked myself.

Calm.  Relaxed.  Peace with myself.

And, of course, we are all (myself included) huge on judging other people.  We judge their emotions, their reactions, their words, their personalities, their ideas… to be wrong, wrong, wrong!

Try, “That’s not how I would have done it.”

Or, “I wonder what made him so very upset.” ..and then consider what the cause might have been.

How about, “I’m curious what her story is…”

Yes, sometimes people are just plain jerks, and yes, sometimes things about us just plain, well, suck…

But judging it isn’t going to get you anywhere!  It’s going to upset you and possibly make you ever slower to get around to changing things.

I ask you all the time not to judge me.  Autism awareness, understanding, acceptance.  Right?  And you are unbelievably awesome at that.  Now, this Christmas season, I’m asking that you allow the same peace of mind to yourself and those around you.

Oooh, oh.  I can sneak in ten more minutes of sleep before leaving for the neurologist!  G’night!

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “On judgment

  1. Oh, thank you. I judge myself all the time. Trying to change, but so hard…
    I read you from the other end of the world and I think you are an amazing woman!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s