On boxes

People like boxes, don’t they?

I’ll put you in the religious freak box, because you went to a super-conservative, Christian college, because you’re pro-life, and because you don’t wear swimsuits in public.

Or, I’ll put you in the raving liberal box, because you’re not a Republican and you think gay people deserve the right to a life too, and even that *gasp* God loves them every bit as much as he loves me.

I’ll put you in the wishful-thinking-but-believing-lies box because you eat GFCF and won’t use products that are tested on animals.

Or, I’ll put you in the you’re-far-too-worldly box because you take not just one but more than a handful of psych meds.

Or how about, I’ll put you in the Aspie box, because your verbal IQ is clearly high and because, well, anyone who isn’t like my child doesn’t really have autism (oh, yes, it’s been said to me).

Or, I’ll put you in the “LFA” box (gosh, I hate even typing that; it’s so cruel and impersonal) because you have staff, don’t drive, have crazy sensory issues, and who knows what else.


People are not packing material!

I’m too religious for most but not religious enough to really be religious.

And I’m too alternative to be mainstream but not alternative enough to be alternative.

And, of course, I’m too autistic to have Asperger’s but not enough so to fit in with everyone else.

And you know what?  I thought it was just me.  I thought everyone else fit into boxes, but I’m starting to think that such boxes are altogether useless.

I don’t know about you, but I like to classify everything.  My favorite is “good” and “bad.”  Food Network is good, and every other chanel is bad… but what happens when a show comes on FN that I don’t like?  I don’t even like myself entertain the thought for the simple reason that I am supposed to like FN.  It’s good, after all.  Or is it?  Is it possible that it’s maybe 85% good?

As I’ve said before, life is a spectrum.  Rarely, very rarely, is anything black or white, good or bad, yes or no.  We’re not doing ourselves any good with all this tape and cardboard.  And when I don’t fit into someone’s box, they discount what I’m saying as impossible or exaggerated or made up.  I’ve had enough of that.  What about you?  What do you say?  Have you had enough of boxes, too?

Let’s chuck the cardboard out the window, and throw the tape under the bed.  Stash the scissors in the drawer, and let’s free ourselves.


2 thoughts on “On boxes

  1. What bugs me is people who expect others to respect them for who they are but don’t grant that same respect to people around them who may not subscribe to the same format.

    You have religious beleifs, I don’t share them. Does it bug me? No. do you expect me to change? No (feel free to correct me here Lyds but I never got that feeling from you!). I feel able to learn and to teach, if that’s the right phrase, because we are friends.

    So, no boxes here….

    • Now, you know me Amanda, so I’m going to be upfront, if that’s okay. In terms of religious beliefs, I don’t believe in relativism. So essentially, I think that people whose beliefs are radically different from mine are, well, wrong. What I do NOT believe is that they deserve less love or effort from me, that they are less human, or that they are worse people than people who do share my beliefs. And no, I do not in any way expect you to change. I fully accept you as you are, and I know that you return that to me.

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