Bigger than a shoe?

Ed note: Okay, it’s the end of a long (but good) day, and I can’t force the first person perspective tonight.  She, her, hers… that means me.  Got it?  Welcome to my (tired) brain.

Except really, they don’t knock.

Having an exterminator for a mother (fun fact: Mrs. Lydia does, in fact, own a family exterminating business), one might expect that she would kill bugs at first glance.  But no no, not this girl.  This girl thinks that God made bugs too, and if the rule is that she has no right to take her own nor anyone else’s lives, then she has no more right to take a bug’s life.  So no, she doesn’t kill bugs (and doesn’t let Heather’s boys step on the ants, either, though they try in earnest).

That is NOT to say that she in ANY way likes bugs touching her, though!

So what does she do when faced with a bug in her house and no one but Elsie P to do anything about it?  Oh, and mind you she’s on the phone with her exterminating mother.

Lydia: A BUG! A BUG! A BUG! Ahhh! Hi, Bug.  Hi.  Hi, Bug.  Bye (to Mom on the phone).

Mom: Just smash it! Get a shoe! Kill it!

Lydia: It’s too big!

Mom: Bigger than a shoe?

Lydia: Outside.  Will take the bug outside now.

So she gets a mug from the cupboard, and a card, and she gets the bug to crawl onto the card then covers it with the mug.  Then, she unsticks the very stuck bedroom window that doesn’t have a screen and has thus never been opened, and she violently shakes the card and vessel in an attempt to deposit the bug onto the grass.

“Bye, Bug.”



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