>Sometimes posts seem to write themselves. It’s like my life is meant to be turned into blog form.
Other times it requires some effort, but I can scrape something together.
And then… well, and then there are times like this, during which there is no glimmer of cohesiveness to my writing. I’m wondering if the lithium has kind of caused the creativity to go out of me, or something, because I just haven’t felt like writing, and that, now that is weird.
My brain is going in too many different directions to be organized. I mean, I’m on an American Girl reading kick (Mom and Sister say that if I get half the money, Sister will supply the other half-ish and go to American Girl Place and get Felicity for me for Christmas! I’m so excited! I’m refusing to spend a penny!) because I can’t focus enough to read anything more difficult. But I’m enjoying the historical fiction (my favorite genre), so that’s good. Still, 3rd-4th grade reading level? I guess if it’s not hurting anything and it’s making me happy, so be it.
Speaking of making me happy, yesterday at CET (the study I’m in) they mentioned internal yardsticks. Now, the first amazing thing is that I was listening enough to catch that. The second amazing thing is that they mentioned something fairly worthwhile. They said that they prefer us to use internal yardsticks to measure our successes and failures as opposed to the external kind. As much as I agree with this, isn’t it difficult to do that? I know I like to compare myself to everyone around me. I get upset when Leigh is “passing me up” or when my peers do things I can’t. I’m sure everyone feels this way sometimes though.
Holidays are tough around here. Emotionally, I’m still young enough that I want to participate in all the childhood traditions, like trick-or-treating. I mean, I probably could have gotten by, because I definitely look quite a bit younger than nearly 23, but I’m satisfying myself with the leftover Butterfingers that Mom gave out. It’s not so much the candy I want as the experience. I actually stopped trick or treating when I was about 8, because due to the diabetes I had to give my candy to Sister (did you know that Sister has a name? It’s Emily. I sometimes call her Sister to her face, too, though).
Driving is presenting quite a challenge lately. I’ve gotten big time mad people honking at me twice in two days, because I was going the speed limit and they didn’t want to. I still feel like it’s my fault, and I hate it.
Well, Mom and I are headed to Dr. J. We’ll see what she says about this lithium deal.